If you're on Facebook and most of all y'all are, you are aware that the FB folks have boogered everything up yet again. Yes, my friends, the Zuck has struck. Mark Zuckerberg, dang it, quit touchin' stuff!
I am no social media genius, but I appeal to those who are: create a social media platform for Texans.
We can call it "TexBook" and set it up with different "friends" lists. There would be separate lists for your friends, co-workers, acquaintances, fellow church members, relatives, children and the weirdo friend of a friend who just thinks you're hot and wants to "date" you.
To serve denizens of each list, your friends would see the profile of the real you, complete with your drunken posts from your iPhone and pictures you took with that iPhone of your butt last Saturday night. (I don't do that kind of thing, but I have heard some people do.)
Your relatives, co-workers, fellow church members and acquaintences would see a different profile filled with thoughtful posts of quotes by Heidegger and Gibran, or a scripture verse from 1st and/or 2nd Timothy, and photos of your visit to the Gault archeological site last summer.
The weirdos or the "Annoying Perv" list members will be redirected to the county sheriff's office website.
The Southern Baptists will have our own social media: Gracebook. Everybody is welcome to join if they feel the call. And all our profiles will be public because it's easier to witness by example that way.
We could call it "Faithbook," but it would thound like we were lithping.
There will be a translator function so our profiles can be read in every language, including Swahili, Tagalog and Farsi, so that we can "go ye therefore" and "teach all nations" in cyberspace.
Instead of "likes" we'll have "amens." And we'll have the ability to check in at Hobby Lobby, Chick-fil-A, Mardel and Lifeway Christian Stores (you cannot buy a Christian there; I tried) regardless of what store you actually are patronizing. This function will be extremely useful if we happen to find ourselves visiting over county lines.
Yes. That last sentence was Southern Baptist code and we'll just leave it at that.
Instead of "unfriending" someone, we will place them on the "prayer list" where they will stay until we "welcome them back to the fold."
And of course we will have a killer music platform because there is nothing as rocking as a Southern Baptist music ministry. Jesus jams, y'all. Big time.
Instead of "events" we'll have "revivals" and "retreats." Your "RSVP" choices will include "Yes, I'm attending," "I'm waiting for the call of the Lord" and "Thanks, but I'm on a mission trip that day."
And every now and again, there will be an announcement to build more Gracebook pages because nothing draws us Southern Baptists like new construction.
Until then, we're gonna have to muddle through with that which "The Zuck" has stuck us. Y'all cogitate on this matter and let me know what you think: can we have a Texas social media outlet? Or are we gonna have to endure more changes we didn't ask for?