Educating the world about Texas one Yankee at at time.

Educating the world about Texas one Yankee at a time.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Baptists, beer and bingo

It occurred to me today that, upon leaving the employment of the Army, I will be able to write my column (now a blog) about Texas topics hitherto forbidden by the rules and regulations of the United States Army.

Folks, I can now write about Baptists, beer and bingo.

I can even say things about the man Molly Ivins called "Governor Goodhair," Rick Perry. She was right. He has lovely hair. And I could call him that too.

I probably won't, but I can if I want to.

I can now say that nothing draws Southern Baptists out like new construction. I could probably have said that anyway, being as I am a Southern Baptist.

And, in true Southern Baptist fashion, I can talk about going out of town to do my drinking.

But I won't because I don't want to get kicked out of the church.

And bingo. I can write the word. Promoting "games of chance" is a big ol' no-no in the Army newspaper, but here on this blog I can talk about it. So here goes:

BINGO. BINGO BINGO BINGO BINGO!

I really don't have anything else to say about it at this point about bingo or the Texas Lottery, but I can in the future.

I suppose what I'm saying here is that The Yellow Prose of Texas will be a little "edgier" (at least by Army standards) than Tex Messages was. And that somehow titillates me to no end.

By the way, I've never said "titillate" in the Army paper either. I thought it to be in poor taste and not within the operating standards of Army values. We do not "titillate" in the Army. It would be unconscionable.

I did, however, recently write in one of my final Tex Messages columns about the H-E-B grocery store chain and what the B in H-E-B stood for. I got to write "Butt" five times. So, in a way, I was able to "skirt the reg."

I'm so excited! I'm gonna go think up all kinds of controversial things to talk about, like Methodists and their casseroles, bathtub gin and spooning! I feel positively scandalous!

An original Yellow Prose blog entry, 2011.

2 comments:

  1. Awesome! I don't think you used the word "titillate" enough times, though. :)

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  2. I'm waiting for the post about jello salad. Just saying.

    ReplyDelete